“My Uncle has a bunch of land up near Lake Gaston and every summer we have a huge party there, and it’s grown over the years and is something like 100 people now, family, friends, friends of friends, family of friends, old, young, etc., so there’s always a good crowd. There’s a main house and several cabins built around the property that people stay in for the party, there’s drinks, dancing, a dj, boating, games, the works. My homeboy said he had his eye on this girl (she was some friend of a friend of a friend) and told me he was gonna hook up and of course I said bullshit but then later I got this text saying to come to cabin so and so and be quiet cause he was about to hit and sure enough, straight up slaying this bitch, so i pulled my phone out. Look at that muthafucka cheesin when he sees me. Dude has a dick like a pringles can and I know to never go near any girl he’s been with, lol.”
I can smell the patchouli at this party just by looking at it. Leave it to a bunch of rich white people to throw a big lake shindig like this and think it safe enough not to check folks at the door for concealed weapons, like the friggin’ Paleolithic club this “homeboy” has swinging between his legs. Someone please let me know the special blend of weed, shrooms, and alcohol needed for this girl to look at a dick like that and say, “yeah, cool, wanna see if it can reach my lungs?!”
(yeah, you can download it free! I’m a cool guy, right?)
