“every weekend in beijing i go to one of these language exchange events where chinese meet foreigners to practice chinese and english and 2/3 times i’ll hook up with a girl after and introduce her to sum real dick. always 10 or so ppl do drinks after and when I play my cards right i take a bitch home same night like this one”
Since you’re doing language exchange, it might be a good idea to impart on these girls the following useful English phrases:
-biting off more than you can chew
-trying to fit a baseball bat inside a garden hose
-stretched out like Gumby in a torture rack
That poor pussy is going to need a whole Chinese new year to recover from having its elasticity ruined like Taco Bell just ruined chicken nuggets (discontinued after only 1 month? C’mon.)
(yeah, you can download it free! I’m a cool guy, right?)
