“I wad a bodyguard in the 2000s for a young clubowner in Sao Paulo who was involved in essentially a loan shark style business on the side. One guy had borrowed a assload of money and made a bad investment and wasn’t paying back, and I remember my boss holding a knife to the guy’s fingers on his desk while at the same time snorting a line and trying to think of a way to recoup his losses and he comes up with this idea of making the guy’s wife make a sex tape with me, since he knew my dick was huge, as a punishment and a deterrent to others. The guy agreed (and his wife too, so it was consensual) and we would send the vid to anyone who fell behind on payments and they would quickly come up with the money. Those were teh days but glad I got out of the business when I did.”
rry bro but all I can imagine is Tuco Salamanca from Breaking Bad racking his brain while snorting coke and suddenly being like “I know! Make his wife fuck the huge black guy!”

Can’t blame the poor guy for investing in the Juicero though, it seemed like such a slam dunk idea! I dunno know, I would have just given up a finger or two.

(yeah, you can download it free! I’m a cool guy, right?)
